FUNERAL CEREMONIES
What does a good funeral ceremony look like?
Above all, it is personal. It should be in accordance with what the deceased wanted, but it should also help the bereaved – it is mainly for them. That's why it's good if they get involved in the ceremony. We organize funerals in such a way that the bereaved are a part of them, not just passive participants.
A good funeral ceremony should also be dignified. It should have a solid structure and script, but it should also respond to the needs of the bereaved. So it can start slowly and sadly, but it can end cheerfully as a celebration of life.
Where to organize such a funeral ceremony?
In a place that allows us to grieve safely, but at the same time does not plunge us into depression. The place should be uplifting, or at least pleasant. We hold funerals in historical villas, churches, lounges, galleries, funeral halls, cafes and the like. For outdoor funerals, we choose gardens, parks, monuments, river confluences, weirs, forests and meadows... Here are some nice examples of places for a good funeral.
What do we do at a good funeral?
We involve the bereaved in the events and give them space to say the unsaid, perform the last service for the deceased, or just create a place for them to return to remember. We are in constant contact with the bereaved and help them plan the funeral step by step. We try to make each ceremony unique and help the bereaved with what they need help with. That is why we only offer inspiration here, what we do at funerals and why it helps.
We play or perform songs
Music has accompanied ceremonies since time immemorial. Many songs remind us of happy and sad moments, awakening memories. We leave the selection of songs fully in the hands of the family. We don't have any song repertoire, any sequence, or exact number, it always depends on what exactly the family wants to do at the ceremony. But we can advise which song is suitable for which occasion.
How does it help us? Music helps to calm down and really "be present". Creating a playlist is a simple but very absorbing therapeutic activity: what did the deceased like? What do we like? And what did we like to listen to together? By carefully selecting songs, we will remember the deceased, honor them, and realize many things about ourselves.
We will write and deliver a eulogy
We carefully discuss the big speech with the family: we sit down with them for an hour or two and listen about the deceased, we are interested and ask questions. Then we write a eulogy and the family can further edit it. The eulogy should celebrate the life of the deceased but also offer relief – that our loved one lived here, that their being influenced the world around them, and that it is possible to continue their work even without them.
How does it help us? It is a unique opportunity to talk to someone who did not know the deceased, and therefore no stories are "overplayed" for them. In addition, it takes away the "stress" of writing and speaking in front of people. Sitting down, having coffee with us and talking is ultimately a very pleasant time spent that helps with grieving.
We give the bereaved space to speak
Maybe some of the guests have something prepared or written that they'd like to say out loud. It could be stories from friends, anecdotes from their youth, or sometimes just a simple thank you that they want to share with everyone at the funeral, but there's rarely a good opportunity. We'll give them the space to say it out loud – but we won't force anyone to do it.
How does this help? If there isn't a wake or similar event after the funeral, the family often doesn't get to hear the beautiful stories and memories that the guests might like to share. And sometimes it's just nice to hear that we're not alone in our grief and that others loved our deceased.
Fire delivers our messages
There's always something we didn't say to the deceased. Or couldn't, or didn't want to. We'll bring pads, pencils, and paper. Then we'll light a fire and pass the messages to the flames one by one. No one will ever see them again. We burn the messages in our ceremonial vessel, so we can be anywhere that's at least a little bit outdoors: a porch, a garden...
How does this help? Fire is an ancient symbol of death, but also of purification. It gives us warmth and Light, protects us from darkness, but can also burn and hurt us – just like love. When the messages are consumed by the fire, everyone can write down with a clear conscience what they would only say to the deceased.
Water carries our messages on little boats.
We don't always get to say everything while we're still alive. So, we can send our messages to the deceased on water using special, dissolvable paper. We'll fold little boats and let them go down the river, or let them dissolve in our vessel. And then we just watch as the words spread and with them a tiny drop of our sadness. The water will deliver our messages.
How does this help? Water symbolizes purification, the river is the flow of time. It washes away sins and evil, without water there would be no life. Especially if our loved one had a connection to water, where else would we send our last messages?
The wind carries our messages on balloons.
In many traditions, the soul departs to heaven: whether you believe it or not, seeing your messages rise to heaven on balloons can be very healing. And not just for you – it's also good for children, who won't take trauma away from the funeral.
How does this help? Writing a last message to the deceased and watching it rise to heaven is a beautiful metaphor for departure that even children can understand. Just the fact that children draw a picture for the deceased on a balloon and then have to let it go is an important lesson about death.
A minute of silence with candles.
Holding a minute of silence for the deceased is an expression of respect. To be quiet for a moment, to delve into your own thoughts. We combine this with lighting a candle – everyone gets one and lights it from the main one (in the church from the Paschal candle). Then we hold them in our palms. We dim the Light, turn off the music, so that we can really exhale for a moment. Finally, we can bring them one by one to the front and place them by the coffin or urn.
How does this help? In constant stress and rush, we often forget that emotions need to be felt. And not to be afraid of them. The first step out of grief is to allow yourself to feel it at all. So, while the candle melts in our palms, it warms a little and stings in places – just as our memories sometimes caress us, other times stab us.
Planting a tree or a memorial garden.
A tree and plants in general symbolize the cycle of life, which is endless. If we have the ashes of the deceased in an urn at home, the bereaved from the wider area often miss the opportunity to come and remember them. With the help of a tree or garden, we give the ashes of the deceased new meaning and return them to nature, from which they came.
How does this help? Watching the tree grow and change through the seasons helps to better grasp the cycle of life and cope with death. In addition, all the bereaved can lend a hand and take care of the tree or garden during the years to come, which gives us a reason to return to the deceased in our memories.
Scattering ashes into the river
Water symbolizes the purification of the soul and freedom, the river the flow of life. Water carries our loved one away and washes away part of our sadness. We can add petals or a wreath of flowers that will float with them. Or someone prefers to load the ashes into small boats that gradually sail away until they completely dissolve (and are ecologically safe). We always arrange the scattering permit.
How does this help? The flow of water reminds us of the flow of time, which brings us healing peace. The slow sailing away symbolizes the departure of a loved one.
Scattering ashes into the sky in a balloon.
Not only the soul can depart to heaven – ashes can also be scattered there. Together with the ashes, we fill a balloon with helium and release it. The balloon then bursts at an altitude of approximately 9 kilometers and scatters the ashes of our loved one into the sky. While the balloon rises and moves out of our sight, we can better realize that the deceased has left us, but that they are heading towards the Light and will never completely leave us, because they will be everywhere around us.
How does this help? It is a simple but beautiful metaphor for the departure to eternity, which even children can understand.
Placing the urn in the cemetery or in nature.
Perhaps you have an urn with the ashes of the deceased, but you have not yet dared to place it outside the home. Or you held a ceremony, but took the urn home. If the moment has come that you want to "release" the deceased, we can jointly place the urn in a columbarium or grave. Or also to a tree in a forest cemetery.
How does this help? We release the deceased into "their world" and lighten our own soul. We will know that the deceased has found their permanent place, no matter what happens to us, and people will have a place to go to remember them.
Placing the coffin in the grave in the cemetery.
If you'd like to bury the deceased in a Coffin, we're here to help you arrange everything, maybe even with a memorial ceremony. We can add final gifts for the departed inside the Coffin. And we can place a box with messages from loved ones on the Coffin, so they're with the deceased "forever."
How does this help us? Saying goodbye directly to the deceased's body gives us a unique chance to truly realize they're gone. We believe that if adults are okay with it, even children can handle seeing the deceased and won't develop a fear of death.
Drawing messages on the urn or Coffin
Since ancient times, people have honored their deceased with art: statues, jewelry, musical instruments... The easiest way to give something to the deceased today, so it stays with them, is to paint or write something directly on the urn or Coffin. These can be personal messages or even drawings from children.
How does this help us? We'll be sure that our messages and "gifts" really stay with the deceased. Plus, it's a fun activity for kids to easily participate in – unlike us adults, they often perceive the whole funeral planning process as very "detached."
Releasing butterflies
A butterfly symbolizes transformation, changing from one form of existence to another. In some cultures, it also represents the soul or even love. To keep them happy, the temperature needs to be at least 21C. We can release them together during the funeral or even at the wake.
How does this help us? The departure of our loved one can be a beautiful and fragile moment at the same time; we can symbolically release their soul "on the wings of butterflies."
Releasing lanterns
We're reminded that even in the darkest night, the light of hope shines. We can symbolically send messages to the deceased via sky lanterns and watch them fly away. But remember, we can only release lanterns when it's calm, away from buildings and airports. If the weather's bad, we'll think of an alternative, like balloons instead of lanterns.
How does this help us? The belief that the soul goes to heaven isn't just for religious people. So, this ceremony is a nice option for all family members. The light from the lanterns helps not only our deceased find their way, but also us.
Ashes Firework
A funeral can and should also be a celebration of life. Fireworks symbolize new beginnings (like New Year's), but originally, they were used to ward off evil spirits. We can customize the rockets to carry the deceased's ashes and scatter them across the sky. And it doesn't have to be at night – we can make it visible during the day, too.
How does this help us? Scattering ashes in fireworks isn't something you see every day. Maybe your deceased was so unique, so optimistic, that you can't imagine them wanting a sad, quiet funeral. This might be their last chance to really surprise you.
Funeral in the church
If you feel the funeral should be in a church, don't worry about it. A funeral belongs in a church, and it doesn't have to be unintelligible and cold, quite the opposite. We can blend the church ceremony with our civil elements. We can help the "unchurched" to make the ceremony for them too. And, in turn, for the "churched", to fulfil their desire to see off the soul of the deceased: with prayer, with liturgy.
We don't have "preferred churches" - we like to have the ceremony in a place that is connected to you. And we can usually get along with the local pastor, or at least try to.
And of course, we are happy to prepare a purely religious ceremony without any involvement from us.
Scattering of ash into the sea
Many of us want to be scattered out to sea. We can arrange it easily, pleasantly and legally. We can be by the sea with you and do our typical ceremony there. Or we can do an honest sailor's funeral. We can charter a yacht and make a big trip out of it. Or it can be a tiny, fragile ceremony of dispersal. How about flying out to sea in the morning on a small plane and coming back in the evening?
How will it help us?
The ride to the sea already symbolizes a journey, the end of something old and the beginning of something new. And the sea? It symbolizes death, but also infinity - and thus merging and reconciliation.
Funeral as a walk
Why does walking help us come to terms with death?
Walking: walking promotes physical and mental health. But above all, it is a symbol of life's journey. It reminds us that we handle all changes better when we take them one step at a time. And conversations are better when we walk than at the table.
Nature: Being in nature reduces stress and fatigue, improves mood.
Socialization: a common journey or a common destination will strengthen the sense of community with other pilgrims. We can improve family relationships. Or a kind of self-help group can be formed.
Concentration: nature allows us to concentrate again - just listen to a bird singing, or the wind rustling, and don't think about anything. But in walking slowly we can also feel what is happening inside us and better accept it.
Memories: the walk allows us to bring to light long-forgotten memories. We know that sounds and smells trigger our memories better than stories.
Repentance: the pilgrimage has always served to evolve from sins. It was once imposed by a priest, but later the faithful imposed it on themselves.
Spirituality: in European history, but also in fairy tales, the pilgrimage is part of the rite of passage - the initiation ritual. It helps us to go through change.
The cycle of life: the changing seasons and constant change remind us of the inevitability of death, but also that the pilgrim's present state is only temporary. The sun will rise one day - at least it always has so far.
Want to see what it looks like?
Watch Václav Moravec's Fokus (Czech Television). It's been a long time ago, but we filmed with them what all can be done at the ceremony to help. And we also discussed why and how we do it.
Not sure? Call us on 775 856 857. Or send a text or message on WhatsApp.
We'll figure something out together.
HOW DOES A FUNERAL CEREMONY HELP?
DO FUNERAL RITUALS AND CEREMONIES HELP THE BEREAVED?
It helps to say goodbye to the deceased
We need to realize that our beloved deceased is already in a better place, wherever that may be. A funeral ceremony helps us with this: an unforgettable experience that we share together and that has a powerful story. And we will be involved in that story.
It brings beauty and celebration of life
A funeral is sad, but it can be uplifting. A funeral ceremony helps us accept death and say goodbye to our loved one, but we think their life deserves to be celebrated. Ceremonial halls are cold and sad, our ceremonies are warm and full of love.
It helps to find a new place in life
A funeral is also an acceptance ritual: it helps us accept the new reality, start building new relationships, new bonds with family and friends. Just like, for example, a shared lunch or celebration. And a proper funeral should also end with a get-together.