Scattering ashes is a beautiful, romantic, spiritual, and even uplifting way to say goodbye. However, it comes with a lot of worries and prejudices, even though there's nothing to be afraid of.
From a legal point of view, two principles apply: you should have the landowner's consent for scattering, and you must treat the ashes with respect. So, you can scatter the ashes in your own garden (or meadow or forest). You can scatter them on your friend's meadow or forest, or on land owned by the municipality (the municipality will often allow it). When it comes to a public place, like a park, it's worse: the park owner usually won't give you permission simply because "everyone would want to do it then." And maybe they're right. For scattering into water, you must have the consent of the water authority: we can usually arrange that, it's not our first time. You don't need any permission for scattering at sea.
What to do if you insist on scattering ashes somewhere where consent cannot be obtained, for example, because the deceased insisted on it and you want to fulfill their last wish? That can be done too: scatter only a small part of the ashes so that you don't "pollute" the place. The symbolic meaning will remain the same. And legally, ashes are simply an object in your possession, just like cigarette ash, which can also be flicked outside without penalty.
You can also scatter ashes on a scattering meadow, which is part of many larger cemeteries and crematoria: however, they will give you 15 minutes for scattering, and we personally don't believe that a dignified ceremony can be squeezed into such a short time. If clients explicitly ask us to do so (for example, because the deceased's wife is already scattered on the same meadow), we will arrange a longer time with the cemetery administration.

You can find more information on how to handle the ashes of the deceased in our article. (red. O.V.) 

Experts agree that the ceremony is for the bereaved. Without it, they would lack the opportunity to say goodbye, to say a final farewell, to realize "this is really the end," and to close the first, most acute phase of grief or shock from the departure of a loved one. It is important for family and friends to gather together, to express mutual support, to cry together, and to reminisce. And last but not least, to see how many people cared about the deceased enough to attend the farewell.
The reason we think it's a good idea to consider the very essence of the deceased during preparations, according to our approach, is simple. The closer the bereaved get to celebrating the life of the deceased in their authentic and personal manner, the more they will feel relieved and think "that's how he/she would have wanted it, we did the farewell well and in the best way we could." And also, thanks to the individualized ceremony, it is much easier to remember what the person meant to us and why we remember them. Did he like to drink beer? Put one on his Coffin. Did she like red? Let's roll out the red carpet. Did he like to throw parties and pop champagne? Let's honor him with a few toasts at the farewell. It's simple, possible - and yet very important. We want to help you with that "that's how he/she would have wanted it," no matter what you wish for. Will you surprise us? :-) 

Have you heard about pre-arranged funerals? Find out more. (red. Z.H.)

Did you know that you can have a motorcycle at the farewell? A projector with photos? Colorful desserts? A beer tap? You can. You just have to ask for it. And you don't have to hold the farewell in funeral halls, but maybe in the forest, in your favorite park, in a cafe, at the confluence of rivers, or maybe on a tennis court. You just mustn't be afraid to make demands. Don't let yourself be swept away by catalogs, tables, and proposals from funeral arrangers. No one is forcing you to fit into a 20-minute "running belt" in the form of "silence, music, laying flowers, hired speaker, music, condolences, out in 20 minutes and outside you're already mixing with a new shift."
You can dedicate time to the funeral. Easily an hour, two, three, a whole afternoon. It can be where you decide. It can be with an urn or Coffin. It can be colorful, with live music, with photos, children, dogs, and even in the style of Star Wars or Slavia, if the deceased is a fan :)
We are here to help you with that. Don't hesitate to get in touch and we'll come up with a dignified but thematic farewell that you will remember fondly.

Read more in our article on how to make the final farewell as personal as possible. (red. Z.H.)

In the last few years, funerals have gradually been breaking out of the "sad, depressing, black, tearful" shell and the belief that ceremonies should be more of a celebration of life is slowly developing. It is therefore not surprising that such celebrations, with their organization, are approaching all other events.

You have to invite people (here, the funeral card with all the necessary information can already function as the invitation itself). You need them to park somewhere, have somewhere to sit, not be cold, not get wet, have something to drink. You need someone to moderate the ceremony, instruct the bereaved, quiet them down, tell them what to say. So that the attendees feel good and safe, so that they are not afraid to get involved. And even better - so that they participate in the following funeral feast, whether at the place of the ceremony or elsewhere. You can arrange and organize everything yourself, you can take someone to take the worries off your shoulders and you can devote yourself mainly to mourning, family, community, and mutual support. So is there any difference from event agencies? Is it necessary for funerals to be taboo, not talked about much, looked down upon those who dedicate themselves to them? Isn't it just another sector of services that people routinely apply for? We think it is. Nevertheless, we do not approach ceremonies as a business and we do not do a show. Respect for the deceased, an open heart for their bereaved, and the conviction that this is how it should be, must not be missing. (red. Z.H.) 

Psychologists agree on this: a child should definitely be with us at a funeral: they should have the opportunity to say goodbye, to somehow close their relationship with the deceased. If we leave them at home, they will not have resolved the death and will also feel excluded and lonely. Let's explain death to them, explain what happened and why we are doing the funeral ceremony: that we want to say goodbye, and that we will also pay tribute to our loved one. They don't have to understand everything: let's not be surprised by questions, let's be patient and understanding. For example, let's describe the funeral ceremony to them in advance so that they don't get scared. Let's not be ashamed to even show them our grief: the child will understand that it is a great loss for us. But let's not transfer our self-pity onto them, even if it is natural and understandable: "Why did she do this to me, why did she leave me?" Let's avoid lies, even merciful ones: if we say that "grandma is sleeping," we may encounter sleep problems; if we say that she went "to the sky on a cloud," maybe the child will like it and want to go after her... And above all, they will ask why she left them.
Just as it is good to involve adult bereaved in the preparation of the funeral, let's involve children in it. Firstly, it will help them realize the fact of death, and secondly, it will at least keep them busy in times of grief. And hand on heart: we will also be calmer when the children are not disturbing :) You can read about how to talk to children about death here in our article. (red. O.V.)

We know that black in our culture means (among other things) the color of mourning. But it is not necessary for every funeral in every situation to require black clothing. You can also state a "dress code" on the funeral card or invitation - it is therefore not uncommon for the bereaved to dress in the colors that the deceased loved the most. 

And at other times we hear the assignment "mainly not in black" or "let no one be in black at all." We think that a funeral should be primarily a celebration of the life of the person we are saying goodbye to. It can be personal and it can certainly be colorful. Just don't be afraid to break social expectations and also announce it to the arriving funeral guests in good time. (red. Z.H.)

It is customary for the eulogy to be delivered by one person, often a hired speaker. But this is not a rule, let alone an obligation. Everyone who is interested can speak at the funeral. Whether in a traditional funeral hall (you just have to count on a longer rental time), or at funerals according to your wishes. We like to give one big, summarizing eulogy about the deceased, and then we invite anyone from the funeral guests to take the floor and say what is on their heart. It can be one specific memory, it can be words of thanks, it can be a personal confession of feelings that they had for the person. Such statements have incredible depth and power. And the speakers feel relieved because they were able to share what they carried in their hearts - whether with themselves, with others, or with the deceased in heaven. All those present share this moment with him, they can support each other, they can also encourage others to overcome their shyness and express themselves. Such a ceremony makes the most sense to us. It provides it with emotions, humanity, personality, and no less a focus on the life of the deceased and their nature, rather than on the fact that they died. That's why we like to encourage everyone who wants to get involved at funerals. As we say - there will be no more appropriate moment.

Are you interested in why funeral speakers speak so impersonally? You can read about it in our article. (red. Z.H.)

The name is not taboo. Everyone knew the deceased by name, they acted under some name throughout their life. Why should anything change about this fact because they died? However, naming the person often causes problems for the bereaved. From a psychological point of view, however, there is nothing better than preserving their personality by using their name. Especially for the closest family, it is a great support if they hear the name of their loved one rather than the vague "he", "she", "how are you without him/her?" and the like. The imprint of the person lives on and their loved ones will carry it in their hearts - not anonymously, not as "him/her", but as a specific person with a specific name. Try to put aside your shyness in the future and ask the mourners directly how they miss Aleš / Tomáš / Pavlína / Markéta or maybe Martin…

"Hiding" the name does not hide the fact that they are no longer alive.

What taboos accompany death? (red. Z.H.)

Opening the lid of the Coffin before the ceremony is called "identification of the deceased." Not only so that the bereaved can be sure that they are really saying goodbye to their loved one, but especially so that they can see the face of their loved one one last time if they wish. In addition, the ceremony can also be performed with the Coffin open the entire time. You may be asked about identification at the funeral service when arranging the ceremony. Whether you answer yes or no here, no one should prevent you from seeing the deceased before the ceremony, even if you did not express that wish earlier. Likewise, you have the right to change your mind if you find in the ceremony hall that you don't have the strength - there is definitely nothing wrong with that.
The face and body of the deceased do not look like in American series. There, it is common to specially treat people, actually embalm or preserve them - this is not customary with us, it is only done exceptionally and is called "higher hygienic care of the deceased" - and only two entities can do it.
The body looks different than it did in life. The skin has a different color, you will no longer find a spark in the eyes, the face loses its familiar facial expressions, the body is stiff and cold, it looks a bit like wax. Sometimes it is not possible to close the eyelids or mouth of the deceased, which only means that it was a person subject to natural processes, but not everyone can process the experience of looking at their loved one in this way. Seeing a loved one from one second to the next like this, without warning and without following the context of everything that happens to the body from the moment of death to the funeral, can be very traumatizing. We are not usually used to such a picture during dying in hospitals. In the end, however, it is only up to you whether you evaluate identification as a suitable way to accept the fact that the person is no longer alive, or whether you abandon identification for fear that you will remember the person most strongly in their posthumous form. The choice is yours and none is bad, although it is certainly wise to think about it. Neither can be taken back - seeing a face that can no longer be "unseen" can be just as difficult for some as it is for others to regret not having the courage to do so.

Traditionally, a tree is planted when a child is born. However, planting a tree on the occasion of death is also becoming increasingly popular. It doesn't necessarily have to be a weeping willow; on the contrary, a "mourning tree" can be any tree you plant to commemorate the deceased. Some people like to remember their loved ones with a rose-flowering cherry tree, because such a tree will gradually become an ornament to the whole garden, while others prefer a species that the deceased loved most – whether it's an acacia, birch, beech, or oak. Planting a tree together during the ceremony also helps to bring the bereaved together, to do something together, rather than just individually and passively watching what someone else does or says for the deceased. 

The tree then also needs to be visited, watered, and cared for – so it can serve just as well as a memorial instead of a stone tombstone in the cemetery. In addition, photos, a sign with the name of the deceased, or other mementos can be hung on the tree, perhaps those that the person loved the most. And why not a bird feeder, so that life is constantly bustling around the crown of the tree? A memorial tree simply has its beauty and strength. (red. Z.H.)

What about having the ceremony in the afternoon, evening, or on a Sunday? Funerals are usually held in the morning, before noon, or at the latest in the early afternoon, and on weekdays. They last less than half an hour, and the family and the bereaved don't always have the time or desire to move on to a funeral feast. Moreover, only the closest relatives can take time off from work, and therefore not everyone who would otherwise like to say goodbye comes.
That's why we recommend and prefer to organize funerals that take place in the late afternoon, so that the bereaved can smoothly move on to an evening wake to celebrate the memory of the deceased. In the case of weekends, we most often go to families on Sundays, sometimes in the morning, so that the family can enjoy a lunch together, sometimes in the afternoon, so that they can spend the rest of the day together and start the new week in a new state of mind. More reconciled, more free from the pressure of "we didn't say something", more attuned to the fact that life will really go on in a different order. It is also important for us that the bereaved do not have to prioritize weekend plans, so we recommend Sundays for this reason as well – even those who have a busy weekend are usually able to set aside a Sunday afternoon for the farewell. Such ceremonies also don't have to be rushed; it is expected that more or less everyone has the rest of the day free. Therefore, we will be happy to offer you ceremonies on Sundays as well. Spending pleasant time together with all the bereaved without rush is considered extremely important for an easy journey through grief. Another suitable time is Friday afternoon: after it, the weekend begins, one takes a breath, exhales… and then a new week, a new life begins… (red. Z.H.)

In the event of the death of a family member, it is customary for most of the bereaved to come together and give each other support, especially to the one who was closest to the deceased. From the position of the bereaved and not the main mourners, it is important to remember that the widow, widower, bereaved parents, or, for example, bereaved children need support not only in the period immediately after the death and during the preparations for the funeral, but they will appreciate the long-term offer of a helping hand all the more. Grief is a marathon, and even though the most acute, paralyzing pain usually goes away in the period shortly after the funeral, long-term sadness persists and makes everyday life difficult for a long time afterwards. It is precisely then that it is necessary to persistently offer various forms of relief, whether in the form of babysitting, bringing groceries, cooking, cleaning, or offering a program for weekends. The mourner often finds themselves in a situation where they know that they are already bothering others with their grief and that no one expects them to "not be over it yet", but it is precisely this social pressure that can make grieving more difficult for people. 

Therefore, let's be present, let's be prepared for long-term care, let's be there for those we love, for as long as possible – and let's not suggest to them the idea that they are grieving unusually long. Who knows when we might need something similar for a change… 

And moreover: by opening our hearts and allowing someone to grieve, we are helping not only them but also our own hearts. Whoever has experienced it knows.

Reading about death: What do Funeral Guides recommend? (red. Z.H. and O.V.)

When someone dies, the bereaved often don't know what to say. How to comfort their loved ones, how to express sympathy. Of course, the phrase "sincere condolences" is offered, which we don't "wish" but "express". This is the most common mistake that an ignorant person can make. There is nothing to wish for in condolences. But we can use the sentence "please accept my sincere condolences" or "allow me to express my sincere condolences", or simply say: "sincere condolences" and shake hands.
Is that enough? Isn't it just an empty phrase behind which we can hide so that we don't accidentally say or do something wrong? Everyone must find the answer for themselves. In general, however, it can only be recommended that a person be sincere and genuine in expressing grief and sympathy, with or without sincere condolences. One can also simply say "I'm sorry", "I will miss him/her as much as you will", "I sympathize with you, it must be very difficult now", or "I'm so sorry, contact me anytime if you need help – now, in a month, or in two years, just anytime". We won't spoil anything with sincere condolences, but will we really support the bereaved who hear it a hundred times in the funeral hall, but nothing else? What do you think? (red. Z.H.)

In the case of state funerals, no one doubts the legitimacy of the media and photographers to photograph the mourners, or even the deceased in an open coffin. Such acts of reverence take place visibly for all citizens, and the images taken can be found anywhere on the internet.
Why is it different for family farewells? A funeral is also an important day, an important "rite of passage" both for the deceased themselves and for their loved ones, who are beginning a new stage – a stage of life without a loved one, a stage of mourning. If the funeral farewell is prepared nicely and with respect, we consider it nice and, on the contrary, right to record such a farewell for future remembrance. Some families even film the ceremony, or stream it (without or with recording). And we think it's okay – man is a visual creature, and photos always help to better remember the situation in which they were taken. In such a case, we also try to arrange the space in which the farewell takes place – outside and inside – as tastefully as possible, so that its specific atmosphere is also transferred to the images.
And it has another advantage: if there is a photographer at the ceremony, people take fewer photos on their own cell phones – and get more involved in the funeral ceremony. (red. Z.H.) 

They don't have to be. And we usually don't even have them – we prefer bouquets freely placed around the coffin or urn. It seems to us that we better express the color, variety, and freedom that belongs to life – and also to its celebration. And we also save nature by doing so, because most of the mourners will bring a bouquet, two, maybe a bunch (just as we bring wine to a visit, we bring flowers to a funeral) and thus take care of a beautiful decoration by their own efforts.
We consider wreaths, for the production of which a very large number of flowers is needed, to be slightly superfluous from a financial and ecological point of view. In addition, the bereaved can take apart bouquets or individual flowers, they can be placed with the deceased in the coffin, they can – without cellophane and ribbons – be left at the place of farewell, especially if it is their own garden or a planted mourning tree. Wreaths would be thrown away immediately after the ceremony without further use – they can only decorate the grave. We also see the advantage of cut flowers in the possibility of their selection – you can and we can choose seasonal and only Czech flowers, meadow wildflowers, we can also use dried flowers, which experienced florists can arrange into beautiful arrangements. In short – just as we say "yes" to the celebration of life, we say "yes" to the individuality of flowers. Even if it were the deceased's favorite cactus, brought in a planter 😊 (red. Z.H. and O.V.)